Features

  The ceremony was held Sunday, April 19th at 3:00 p.m. in the Davis Center Auditorium, 417 29th Street South. Our speaker was Ms. Sherida V. Morrison (Founder and CEO of Demoiselle 2 Femme, Inc.). She presented one of her parent involvement workshops dealing with parents encouraging their children. She is a leader in teaching organizational strategies that work to involve parents in abstinence education programs.She led a detailed session with innovative strategies on Creating a Strong Parent Advisory Board, Developing a Strong Parent Message, Parent Attraction/Getting Parents to the Event.

Each valuable parent was chosen by the principals at each of the schools that were involved with the Birmingham Abstinence Education Program.Henry Miller was awarded the top prize as Most Valuable Parent.
Editorials

Diamond in the Rough…..

Yolanda Lapsley

What is a diamond? A diamond is defined as a hard, clear stone that is very precious and holds a lot of value. The next question I want to ask is: Are you a diamond? No, you are not a hard, clear stone, but you are precious and hold a lot of value. This is what I tell my students. Most teenagers don’t believe they have value or for the most part have any worth. What they think is self- value really is often misunderstood. Most teenagers feel value is determined by the number of girls or guys you have sex with. Some teens also feel you are of value by the type of shoes you have on. Realistically, someone’s true value is determined by their morals and values. Those values can include whether or not you will have sex before you are married. They can also include whether or not you are going to be someone’s sex partner (Bust it baby) or be in a meaningful long lasting relationship. When you have morals you will set your sights high — not only for your life right now but for your future. I have run across some teens that have done that exact thing. These individuals carry themselves with so much more respect because they know their value.

If you are confused and don’t quite know if you have value or not, read up on it. There are plenty of women that were in relationships that were not good for them. These women continued those relationships because they did not know their worth and who they were. But once they got a hint of what was going on, they started treating themselves with much more respect. That included ending some bad relationships.

For example, let’s take Mary J. Blige. Before she knew she had value, she was involved in an abusive, drug infested relationship with another famous individual. Years went on with her not knowing how valuable she was, therefore settling for the same relationship. When she realized she was more valuable than she was being treated, she left. Now you can just look at her and tell she truly values herself and her life.

So my call to you is find out your value. If you have decided you ARE going to wait until you get married to have sex then you do that. If you have already  had sex, you can stop and proclaim you abstinence status. It is fine to stand out and be different. That just means you have realized how valuable you are. Or just simply put, you be that precious, valuable, and worthy diamond in a rough…..

Parents Need to Talk to Their Children

Ahmad Jones

There were a lot of surprised looks from parents at the last peer support meeting at the Lane Education Center.  It was the first time that many of them had heard some of the terminology that students are using to describe some of the “at-risk” sexual behaviors.  The conversation continued with lively discussion and a few student role playing exercises.  This was very entertaining and highly informative.  However, the following question still lingered: How do we get parents to begin having these interactive life-saving and life-changing conversations with their children?This is by no means a definitive and conclusive answer.  If so, you would probably have heard me explaining it on Oprah by now.  However, I just want to point out one important thing that I have heard from students time and time again.  Children do not think that they are heard or understood by their parents.  This creates a mysterious wall preventing open and honest communication between the parents and their children.  Will Smith even wrote a song about this phenomenon entitled “Parents Just Don’t Understand.” 

In reality, many parents do understand.  The problem is however that many parents, in a quick rebuttal, explain that they do understand and are quick to say that they have been there and done that before.  This would not be a problem except for the fact that many teenagers then soon turn off the good advice and wisdom that parents can offer.  We have to get the message across without seeming preachy and without sounding out-of-touch. But do not worry.  There is a simple solution.  We use it everyday in the classrooms that we teach.  We lead wonderful, insightful discussions into their teenage world.  How?  We simply listen.  By listen, allow me to use a creative acronym to help you better understand

 L - Learn.  (Learn about the world as they see it.  Don’t just tell them how to see it!  They have eyes, too.)  I - Invite (Invite them to talk with you.  They don’t always talk with us right away either!)  S- Sharing (Tell stories of your life that relate to their life.)  T - Talk with them (Beware:  Let them talk, too!  If you don’t let them talk, they will find someone else who will.)  E - Encourage (Tell them what is best and encourage them to do it!)  N - Non-stop!!!  They don’t stop, so we can’t stop either!

Teenage Domestic Violence Donovan Lambert

Abuse in dating relationships is common among teens. In the United States, 33% of teens reported some kind of abuse and 12% reporting physical abuse.

Teen dating abuse is like domestic violence in adults in that it also is a pattern of abusive behavior used to control another person. Teen dating abuse can include emotional or mental abuse, sexual abuse, and physical abuse. For teens, relationship abuse often takes the form of extreme possessiveness and jealousy. Abusers try to manipulate their dating partners by making all the decisions, putting them down in front of their friends, threatening to kill themselves, stalking them, or forcing them to have sex.

Like adult domestic violence, teen relationship abuse affects all types of teens, regardless of t how much money they have (Chris Brown & Rihanna) what their grades are, how they look or dress, their religion, or their race. Teen relationship abuse occurs in heterosexual, gay, and lesbian relationships.     Unlike adult domestic violence where women are more often the victim, in teen relationship both boys and girls report abuse about equally.  But boys tend to start the violence more often and use greater force.

The pattern of abuse in teens is often similar to adult abuse with repeated violence that escalates over time. Often, the abuser quickly apologizes and promises to change but most do not change.

Sometimes teens do not have the maturity or common sense to recognize that they are involved in an abusive relationship.  Some teenagers believe that their partner is only joking with them when they are playing aggressive, when it is actually a sign of a potential abusive relationship.

Relationship abuse not only poses direct dangers for teens but also puts them at risk for other problems. Teens whom experience violent relationship abuse are more likely to take sexual risks, do poorly in school, and use drugs and alcohol. Girls are at higher risk for pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and suicide attempts.  Oh yes, suicide does occur in the “Magic City” and in your neighborhood, and it is rising.      So, if you or anyone you know is going through anything similar, please notify a trusting responsible adult. If it’s you who’s experiencing domestic violence, call the cops and leave because you never know if you will be given a second chance to stop this horrible problem.